Photos: India and Singapore

A couple of photo albums for you lovely readers -

India VI - click here

Singapore - click here 

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Enjoy!

On India - Final Thoughts

In this blog: final thoughts, the India awards, and India insights

If you only read one of my India blogs, make it this one which sum up the whole mad experience (but get a cup of tea and sit comfortably first).

My route through India over 4.5 months. Interactive map here.

FINAL THOUGHTS
India was quite the travel experience. So much so that having now left the country after spending all that time there, I thought I'd bring together my highlights and insights on this weird and wonderful country.

I'd planned to spend about six weeks to two months there - I thought that would be enough. Somehow this turned into four-and-a-half months - that tells you something about both how relatively easy India is to cope with (after a bit of adaption), and how endearing it is to visit. It's probably the first country I've ever been nervous about visiting beforehand, you hear so many stories and everyone has an opinion, and it certainly took a while to get used to. I had total culture shock at the start but was so comfortable with it by the end that I struggled to leave, and now every comparison, story and reference I make ends up being about it.

They say you either love or hate India, and I'm a lover. It certainly takes a while to understand it, and I wouldn't blame anyone for disliking it if they only stayed a couple of weeks, but over time you learn to tolerate the bad things and enjoy the good. As masochistic as it might sound, I genuinely enjoyed my time in India more than Germany. Travelling in India is exciting - you never know what's going to happen next. It's raw - there's no gloss. The people are ever curious and friendly, the sights interesting, the cost of living unbelievably cheap, the food fantastic. It's often so old fashioned, and a trip back to days gone by in the developed world, what with the regular sight on the streets of hawkers, shoe shines, hot-coal clothes ironers, street typists, and ear cleaners. One of the things I like most of all about travelling around it is the feeling of freedom - the western world is so full of laws, conventions, rules, social norms, but in India you can do what you want. Jumping onto moving trains then hanging out the open doorway, walking across someone else's land without worry, or buying anything from a pharmacy without prescription. Sometimes the country feels pretty lawless and often it is a bit, it's often a bit sad, the way things work often isn't always right or normal, but as a traveller it's just fascinating to see.

India is a bubble. Despite outside influences and westernisation, they still often operate as if it's the only country in the world. Immigrants are minimal, they're fairly self sufficient, have their own way of doing things, many unusual traditions, their own style of dress, and a million festivals. It often defies logic, but somehow everything just about works, and I was quite taken with how developed it actually is. Though there's still a long way to go, and only by stopping government corruption will they finally get to where they deserve to be. 

Would I go back again? I have the route planned already. 
Might not be for a few years though.

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Indraha pass in the Indian Himalayas

THE INDIA AWARDS

So here follows the India awards - in a glitzy Oscars style manner, sometimes counting down and sometimes not, here's the best and worst parts of my travels through the country. You can follow the links to the updates they feature in:

Best Experience

5. The colour and energy of Holi festival

4. Being invited into many homes at the world's biggest kite festival

3. Following a wild Bengal tiger whilst sat on an elephant

2. Seeing a night sky full of thousands of Chinese lanterns

1. Winner: Without doubt, my highlight is hiking the Indraha pass in the Himalayas - sleeping in a cave with a dog, getting lost 4000m up the mountain, running short on food and plenty more, but the most exhilarating experience of my life.

Runners up: playing cricket with a group of psychiatrists, going skiing for an hour, nearly having my skin boiled off in a hot spring, cruising the backwaters of Kerala, Christmas Day at the Taj Mahal, Hassan literary festival parade, getting a free meal in a Sikh temple, going to a Bollywood cinema show, hanging out with Jodhpur locals, sea kayaking at Palolem, cycling around Hampi.

Worst Experience

Winner: getting bitten by a dog and having to have five anti-rabies jabs over a month.

Runners up: the freezing cold and rattly overnight bus to Manali which arrived at 4am, nearly being attacked by a pack of monkeys, loosing my credit card, multiple sleepless nightbus journeys, trying to organise a safari in Ramnagar, adopted dogs killing someone's chicken, getting ill in Udaipur, three bus breakdowns and one car breakdown.

Favourite Place Visited

5. Varkala

4. Munnar

3. Dharamasala

2. Galgibad beach, Goa 

1. Winner: Honey Valley, Coorg - a beautiful spot in the green hills of South India where the people and place combined to form somewhere beautiful, relaxing and interesting.

Worst Place Visted

Winner: Delhi - a schizophrenic city of two halves, not really fitting of a capital city. The old half is extremely overcrowded, dirty, noisy and a wild experience.

Runners up: Agra (away from the Taj Mahal, a dump), Srevenbelagola (underwealming).

Most Dangerous Episodes

Winner: bus journey up the Rohtang pass - going up a snaking single-lane mountain road, set into the cliffs with a big drop to one side, no barriers, on sometimes unsurfaced roads, with a driver who drove very fast, overtook everything in sight, and chanced it round blind bends. Terrifying. 

Runners up: having rocks thrown at me by a teenager, hiking Indraha pass, jeep journey to the flood disaster zone in the Himalayas, high-speed bus journey from Kumily to Kottayam, getting bitten by a dog, walking past a large Indian Python in the wild.

Most Shocking Moments 

There's no winner. In most cases these were the first time I saw such sights, the next time was often less shocking but no more right.

• Seeing a homeless man sleeping face down in the dirt, Jodphur
• Driving past destroyed homes in a huge flood disaster zone, Himilayas
• Passing through extremely overcrowded old Delhi
• The first time I saw cows eating from a rubbish bin, Kalka
• Walking past a young guy passed out from glue sniffing, Kanyakamuri
• Witnessing hundreds of people defacating by the railway tracks, Agra
• Seeing a whole family living on a pavement, Jaipur
• Finding out that ten people a day die on Mumbai rail, Mumbai 
• Cycling past farm workers living in tarpaulin tents, Pune
• Finding out the most firecrackers are made by kids, Pune
• Indians throwing stones at a bear in the zoo, Jodhpur
• Hundreds of people sleeping on and around train station, Ambala 
• The first time I saw wild monkeys, Dharamsala

Most Bizarre Moments

There were so many. Winner: Going to the home of a crazy prince in Udaipur

Runners up: 

• Going for a beer with a mad professor in Kochi
• Being blessed by an elephant
• Seeing a peacock eating out of a wheelie bin, Delhi
• Sleeping beside a dog in a cave
• The monkeys of Shimla running between rooftops
• Walking round a lake in socks whilst jumping over goose poo in Pushkar
• Registering at a hotel with my thumbprint
• Seeing a pavement full of tattoo artists sat cross legged
• Waking up to hear laughter yoga 
• Cows and ear cleaners on the beach
• Seeing a 450 year old corpse in a glass box
• The one-armed beach poet
• Meeting George Osbourne's drug dealer
• Visiting Galta monkey palace - a valley overrun with thousands of monkeys
• The constant stream of people taking my picture because I'm foreign

Best Accommodation 

Winner: Green View Hotel at Varkala. Spend a bit more, get a smart clifftop hotel, brilliant.

Runner up: Pearl Palace, Jaipur, homestay at Kumily

Worst Accommodation

Winner: Panchayat Bhawan hostel, Chandigarh - a huge sterile white room with dirty walls, no curtains, a window pane missing, no hot water and a nasty hallway. 

Runners up: Lahesh cave 3274m up a mountain (or was it the best?!), sleeping on the floor at the doctors hostel of a Delhi mental hospital.

The Most Lost I Got

Winner: hiking from Rishikesh to Kunjipuri temple - with no decent map available and only a rough idea of the way, I hiked a hill bigger than Ben Nevis and got extremely lost on the way.

Runner up: hiking at Indraha pass, roaming backstreets of Jodhpur 

Lowest Prices

Winner: 3p bus journey. OK it was only for a mile or so, but I couldn't believe my ears when the conductor quoted me this price.

Runners up: 4p boat ride, 50p hair cut, £2.10 a night guesthouse, 30p train journey for 4 hrs, 45p meal.

Most Hippies Spotted

Arumbol, Goa, closely followed by Rishikesh

Most Remote Place Visited

Kandara village, Himilayas

Most Pain Encountered

Trying Yoga in Rishikesh 

Most Humbling Moments

Tibetan guy telling me about his parents who were killed by the Chinese army

Visiting creches on building sights, Pune

Helping to give out blankets on a trip to a flood disaster zone

Best things about the country

6. Fresh produce grown locally

5. The relatively low carbon footprint (not by choice)

4. How tolerant and patient people are 

3. Beautiful scenery in Himilayas and Western Ghat mountains

2. The feeling of freedom you get as a traveller

1. Very friendly, curious, helpful people

Worst things about the country 

6. Architecture - everything is a painted concrete box

5. Poverty - still a huge problem

4. Slums

3. Pointless beaurocracy 

2. Litter (how even educated people overlook litter)

1. Child labour

Most memorable food

Poori bhaji, Vagator

Veg jalfreizi, Manali

Parota bread, Mumbai

Chicken tandoori, Pune

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INDIA INSIGHTS

You've probably read enough by now, but for anyone still interested, here's my personal insights into different India as a country. They're not extensive or necessarily well written, but it gives an idea.

The Streets

Everything seems to be done on the street - making, selling, chatting, eating, drinking, urinating. And they're completely dominated by men. I'd say on average only one-in-twenty people you see in a city are female, as traditional roles dictate that women should stay at home and perform household duties. Of course amongst younger women, and particularly in cities this is beginning to change, but right now it's certainly a man's world.

Era

Travelling through India is like a journey through time; I constantly tried to work out what era I was in, and there is no true answer. When you see people breaking rocks beside the road, wearing traditional robes around them, you think you might be in Medieval times. When you pass a man driving a bullock and cart along the road, maybe you're in pre-Victorian times. When you're on the streets with all the moustaches, side partings and tank tops you think you're in the seventies. And when people drive past in a brand new VW Golf, talking on the latest smartphone you know it is 2014. But to generalise, in terms of development, fashion, motorbikes and architecture, the seventies constantly come to mind for me personally.

People

Indians have character coming out their ears, a refreshing contrast to the often dull and conformist population of the Western world. Diversity is the key word - in terms of religion, levels of wealth, types of dress and everything else. They're overwhelmingly friendly and curious, as you might have noticed from my writings, and few would hesitate to chat with me. 

They're extremely tolerant people - we could certainly learn a thing or two from them. Occasionally this is a bad thing though as they're sometimes too tolerant to noise, filth, bad habits, discomfort, poor hygiene, rudeness, corruption, danger and so on, rather than demanding change, thus leaving things more stuck in the past than it should be. Violence and aggression doesn't seem to be in their makeup, of course you see arguing but I only say one mildly violent skirmish the whole time. I guess when there's so much noise and chaos all the time, you have no option but to be pretty mellow, they'd have killed each other a long time ago otherwise. 

Both sexes take great pride in their appearance, no matter how rich or poor, always wishing to try and look smart. The women generally dress in wonderfully bright patterned sarees, though in more affluent areas you see more tunics and trousers, and amongst the younger generation the odd female wears western clothing. The typical man conforms to the 'Side parting and neat moustache' look, often with a pen in his short pocket. Most men wear a shirt and trousers for both work and leisure even if they do very dirty stuff, but you commonly see them wearing everything from orange robes, to white linen outfits, to what looks like bedsheets. 

As a nation they are extremely conservative and old-fashioned, with exceptions of course. Couples rarely hold-hands in public and kissing is certainly never seen, not even in movies as it's considered behaviour for behind closed doors only. A bizarre flip side to this is that you often see men holding hands in public, or with an arm around each other, maybe even stroking each other's shoulders - it's not considered gay, but an act of brotherhood. So yes, men and women can't hold hands, but men and men can - It's a little odd to an outsider I must say.

Manners

Eh? Huh? What? The concept of manners barely exists in India, except among the more privileged and affluent minority, and certainly isn't generally seen in day to day life on the streets. Staring, spitting, touching people, being nosy, queue jumping, weeing in public, beeping, shouting, invading personal space - there is no issue with any of these. Please and thank you certainly don't get much use.

On the flipside, you never eat or pass things with your left hand (the toilet duties hand), and their lips never touch a drinks bottle that's being shared.

Religion 

India is the world's most religious country. Religion is not just something they do, it's an inseparable part of the fabric of being an Indian, and people are extremely proud of that. It's everything, and everywhere - many businesses have religious names, people pray as they pass a temple on a bus, everyone has shrines at home, at work and even in their cars. Whilst there's sometimes a little segregation and the odd tension, Hindus, Muslims, Sikhs and the other minorities all seem to get along and mix together remarkably well on the whole. However when it comes to Muslim dominated Pakistan next-door, I have heard the odd mutter between the first two - Pakistan and India are defiantly not a love match made in heaven. 

Road Transport

Chaos - the roads summed up. The standards of driving are fairly poor, road discipline is terrible, people don't always stop for red traffic lights, and everyone is out for themselves - there's never any courtesy. The roads are full of a mixture of buses, cars, lorries, auto rickshaws, cycle rickshaws (in the north), and people with pushcarts, all vying for space. There are some big and fairly well built dual carriageways between the big cities, but the rest of the time roads vary considerable and occasionally on smaller roads the surface to turn to gravel for a while then back to dirt, or exist as permanently unfinished roadsworks. In the Himilayas, the roads are generally pretty terrible all round. Buses vary from the quality and order of the south, to the battered bangers of the north, and the same applied to the quality of roads. Buses rarely stop fully, you often jump on as they move. 

Rail

The railways work surprisingly well though the trains are often late. The booking system is unbelievable confusing, the trains often fully booked, but the standard of carriage in the AC classes surprisingly good, and more than comfortable enough. One of the biggest biggest problems as a tourist is actually getting a place on a train, as they are regularly fully booked on many routes, sometimes weeks in advance. The cheap classes are great fun for shorter journeys which in Indian terms means six hours or less in my mind, with an eclectic range of passengers and feature everything from ladyboys, chai sellers, beggars, and fruit sellers to keep you amused.

Architecture 

Dreary concrete boxes, poorly maintained, and sometimes painted garish colours is the norm. This isn't always just due to economics, often just a lack of taste or a desire for quality. Only in places like Mumbai do you see the odd cutting edge building which is a shame, as people are a product of their environments, and concrete doesn't make anyone smile.

Landscape

On the route I travelled, the Himilayas in the north were amazing, as were the western ghats in the south, but the scenery between the two was on the whole fairly arid and dull, save for the odd area like Hampi. The beaches are Goa were however beautiful. 

Food

Just fantastic. I ate Indian food three times a day, pretty much every day and loved it. That's over three hundred Indian meals my my rough workings! The food often isn't nearly  as spicy as you expect; a vindaloo is much spicier in the UK for example. I only had one meal I really didn't enjoy, and just two or three fairly average meals the whole, and whilst I started the trip avoiding meat entirely, after a month slowly weaned myself back on with no problems. I did eat western food as a bit of a break maybe every couple of weeks and a little more often for breakfast, but that was it. The only spot of illness came from, I think, eating some street food that had been sat around for a while - I should have known better. The standards of hygiene were a little questionable at times, and it was sometimes the case of what you don't see you don't know, but it wasn't as bad as I expected. 

Drink

Chai - Indian milk tea made mostly with milk instead of water, some masala spices and a whip ole lot of sugar is national drink and found everywhere, and I was an addict. Fresh fruit juices are both popular and cheap and a favourite, as was freshly squeezed sugarcane, though beer more heavily licensed and expensive than at home.

Waste

One of my biggest bugbears with India. Litter is everywhere, and people drop it with no thought whatsoever, no matter how educated they are. It seems to be a mixture of a lack of education, the assumption that it will rot like fruit and veg does, and the guess that someone else will pick it up which generally they don't.

Poverty

Still a big issue, and quite apparent in the slums in big cities. I made some insights into real life through the volunteering work, wandering from the beaten track, and getting invited into a few houses, but life is pretty basic for many. There was less people sleeping on the streets than I expected, but it still happens. Beggars are a regular sight, but generally not that persistent.

Language

Two things surprised me on this front. Firstly just how commonly English is spoken - there's more fluent English speakers in India than Britain, and it's rare that language is a problem, even if one guy did say to me on the phone 'I'm sorry, I can't understand your English accent!'. The second surprise is that there are so many regional languages - most states have their own language - Hindi, Malaylam, Karnataka to name just three. English is the universal language, and used as standard in politics and business.

Infrastructure 

On the one hand, India was much more advanced than I expected, on the other hand there's still a way to go. Power cuts are a big issue and away from big cities places get cut off often daily - many people have batteries and inverters, or a generator to see them through - a huge waste just cause the government can't get its act together. There's not always enough water either, and water tankers sometimes do the rounds delivering direct to houses.

Arumbol, Goa

India: the Final Chapter

Varkala, India (map)

In this blog: a relaxing end to my time in India

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Varkala beach

The tasty last bite. You know, that little habit of making sure the last forkful of your meal is a nice one to remember? A friend recently introduced me to the idea of doing this to countries as well, so that the last few days give you a favourable memory of your time there. So at Varkala - my final stop in India, I got my fork out and did exactly that.

The best accomodation in ages

The starting point of this mouthful of pleasure, was to go to a nice place - Varkala, a coastal resort about a hundred miles from the most southerly point of the country. I arrived to find a string of well kept hotels and restaurants, lining a crumbling red clifftop above a nice stretch of sand. It has a touch of class above most of what you'll find in Goa and other Indian resorts, being slightly less commercialised and noisy, and lacking the package holiday makers and hippies. Next in my metaphorical mouth came the hotel - a smart place on the cliffs above the beach with a grass lawn outside, marble floors, a comfy bed, balcony, bath, hot water and a sea view - most of which sounds like fairly normal things but have been mostly absent throughout my travels in India. Finally, I spent a bit more on food and drink than normal, dropped anything that might be considered cultural, and just relaxed for a few days. A perfect final bite.

And because of all this, I've not really got a lot to say about my time there for once. I managed to fill most of my time on the balcony, beach or hotel restaurant. I did a bit of reading, swimming in the sea, interneting, or music listening, and caught up on some phone calls. I sorted a few chores, including washing even my rucksack and shoes, which hadn't had much love for a while. I did some planning ahead and looking back, and spent a day catching up on the blogs, including spending a bit of time reflecting on the four-and-a-half months I'd had in the country - as you might expect there was a lot to write, so more to follow soon.

All the local hotels and restaurants' in Varkala seemed to be run and jointly owned by Nepalese families for some reason, so for once the Indians were generally sidelined - an interesting sight. Being the end of season - Christmas and new year peak time - things were pretty quiet generally, and the mostly-female shopkeepers desperate for business. As persistent and irritating as this could be, it actually worked to my favour as you could strike some pretty good deals on local crafts. And after not buying a lot throughout India, I reluctantly did exactly that one afternoon, knowing I might appreciate it one day.

Varkala beach

I can't say I really met many other travellers for once though - a mixture of it being quiet and me being a bit lazy. But I did have a chat with an African-American couple, who are living and teaching in an international school in India for a couple of years and told some interesting stories, then another day to an English/American couple who had just turned up. I had to laugh when they told me about the train journey they'd just taken - their plane arrived at Mumbai, and they took a night train south to Varkala which was due to arrive at 11am. On the train and nearing what they thought was the end of the journey, they checked with staff that their stop was coming up, to be told it was actually 11am the following day, and therefore they actually had another 24 hours more on the train! Imagine that feeling.

Keeping it cool

Over the three days I did manage to go for a couple of short but pleasant walks along the coast, where I met a few interesting locals. On one walk, I passed a young Indian lying in the shade by his motorbike, who lazily demanded some water from my bottle, unsurprisingly I shouted back 'get your own'. On another, I relaxed watching fisherman prepare their small boat at a quiet beach nearby, and one of them purposefully came and said 'hello, smoking?' to try and scab a cigarette. The last day, another fisherman asked me to help drag his boat in, before telling me he'd caught very little, had a wife and kids to feed, and therefore could I give him money please. He didn't make much of my not-too-out-there suggestion to go fishing again instead. Even at a resort as westernised as Varkala, you can't escape India entirely.

A Dramatic Final Scene

The three days flew by in a blur of both busyness and relaxation, and was the perfect closing chapter to the Indian tale that I'd hoped for. But before I knew it, that was it - the end of both my time in Varkala and indeed, India as a whole. And a dramatic ending it was. With darkness descended, twenty minutes to go before I had to leave I sat in the hotel's outdoor restaurant for a drink. A few raindrops started to fall. A few minutes it started coming down faster, and next thing, there was thunder, lightening and very heavy rain,mall with little warning. I hailed a rickshaw and headed for the train station. Huge puddles had already formed, and rain sprayed in from both sides, getting us wet. The palm trees along the road were constantly silhouetted by flashes of lightning, adding to the effect even more.

At the train station, the power had gone out and I sat on the gloomy platform waiting for the as-usual delayed train to arrive. It departed almost as soon as it arrived, which meant without realising it, I was able to finally achieve one of my Indian dreams - just like in the movies I had to run alongside and jump onto the train as it moved away from the platform. Perfect timing. I looked out the window and smiled, pondering whether the thunderstorm was the Hindu gods saying 'thanks for coming, we held the rain back as long as we could', or more like 'we've had enough of you now, get out'. Whichever, it was as dramatic an end as you'd expect from weird and wonderful India.

An End To This Madness!

Trivandrum (map) and Kanyakamuri (map), India 

In this blog: your typical city, some martial arts training, an elephant parade, and the most southerly point of India.

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Every place in India that I've visited has been distinct or unique in some way, but the city of Trivandrum, the state capital of Kerala, is the first that I can describe as 'just another city' - one without much distinction in any way. But since I was passing through I thought it was worth stopping for a day, and it also made a good hub for a trip to the most southerly point of India - Kanyakamuri, which turned out to be quite a bizarre day, even by Indian standards.

Royal Treasure

Room service is something that doesn't normally come into the vocabulary of your average backpacker trying to keep to a budget. But when you find, as I did one morning that you can have a complete breakfast delivered to your room for just £0.75 (75 rupees), how can you possibly say no? I felt like a king, a king with a paper crown.

Sri Padmanabhaswamy
temple

I set off for a city walk, stopping briefly outside Sri Padmanabhaswamy temple (a mouthful or what?), made famous when ten years or so ago a trawl of treasure - diamonds, gold, gems - was found in a hidden room, valued at between US$40-200 billion! Can you imagine being the person who found that? Next door was Puttan Malika Palace which I had a quick look around, where the standout item was definitely a solid crystal throne - is it possible to get more bling?

Museum in the park

I walked a couple of miles to the other end of town, impressed that an Indian city actually had pavements you could use for once, without resorting to climbing over piles of rubble, risking falling down a hole, or tripping over a stray cable. Passing an Indian Rail workshop I stopped for a few minutes to watch over a wall whilst men and women overhauled parts of trains, went past some interesting British Raj-era buildings that still look just as grand, relaxed for a while in a nice park, and had a brief gander in the pretty shabby Natural History Museum. The day was rounded off nicely at an old-fashioned looking cinema I chanced upon near my hotel, which happened to have a movie in English - 'Noah'. With a 20p bag of popcorn in hand and a pair of 3D glasses perched on nose, life couldn't get more exciting!

Loincloths and Sticks

Kalarippayat Training

Most martial arts seem to originate from Japan of China, but India has one of it's own, called - 'kalarippayat'. I read that the training session was open to the public, so the following morning I got up nice and early to see what it was all about. I walked into the building, finding a sunken pit where about twenty men and boys were training and grabbed a seat on the terrace above, along with a couple of other curious Westerners. It was a typically Indian experience - everyone wore a white loincloth which revealed way too much, and there was a small shrine in one corner that was occasionally paid reference to. The main part of training seemed to consist of walking along doing palm-to-the-floor lunges, reaching for the sky with both hands, or doing high kicks in the manner of Monty Python's 'Ministry of Silly Walks' sketch. I jest, but it was genuinely very impressive to watch, especially later in the session when some of them men did stick fighting exercises against each other with high speed and precision.

Lands End - Madness Magnet

Like the South Pole which has magnetic attraction for metal, the southernmost point of India - Kanyakamuri - seemed to have a magnetic attraction for madness - the day trip there was one of the most unpredictable and bizarre I've had for some time. So it was a quite fitting then that it should also be the symbolic end to my journey in India.

After the early morning martial arts - a mildly different start to the day, I took the train south for a day trip. A friendly man walked through the carriage with a broken arm and talked for a few minutes, then a little after a man with no legs rolled through, sat on a small wheeled cart begging for money. An hour later a severely disfigured man also begging for money looked my way. This doesn't usually happen on trains, the streets yes, but not trains. Reaching the town of Kanyakamuri, I walked a mile or so to what I thought was the southernmost point, and cresting a small hill what was my first sight? A man having a poo on the beach. Wrong place obviously.

Monuments on the rocks

It was swelteringly hot and humid, but at least the coastal winds now provided a little relief. I walked a mile or so later along the filthy shore towards the town, passing through a fishing village which was partly destroyed by the 2004 Boxing Day tsunami. Kids say hello, and a woman with a baby offered biscuits to me, without a word or a smile. Back on track again I took a ferry with hundreds of Indian tourists across to a couple of big rocks a little way offshore, where there stood a granite statue of a god, and a grand  memorial to someone who once visited to meditate; a very Indian justification for such a structure. Traditional Indian music played through speakers throughout, and made the situation feel more like a movie than real life. It does feel that way in India sometimes.

Ceremony at the most southerly
point in India

Back on the mainland, I wandered to the most southerly point of India - I was finally there after months with it in my sights, sad in some ways, but a satisfying feeling nonetheless. A big ceremony of some sort was taking place - a man was being blessed and given a garland, and a huge line of identically dressed women were being presented with a flower arrangement to carry on their head. Fully clothed Indians were jumping around and playing in the waves below. A deaf female hawker with no teeth, a massive smile and an American bandana on her head started talking to me, for once not really trying to sell anything, but proudly showing me photos of her with other western tourists. A young Indian man asked if I'd be in a photo with him - not my first that day - and not wanting to be rude I reluctantly walked to the rocks below, only for a wave to crash in and soak my shoes. It was time to leave, and I headed back, grabbing a red banana on the way - red bananas I thought, whatever next?

Parade

The bizarre day went up another notch again when I spotted something on the street ahead. Was it really I thought? Yes, yes it really was - three elephants were walking along the street. It turned out the small ceremony I'd seen at the coast had now surprisingly turned into a huge carnival-like parade, with hundreds of people walking in line up the road. As well as the people I'd seen earlier, there were musicians, drummers, people in traditional dress, and the elephants - fully decorated and being ridden by traditionally dressed men. At the front of the parade were a pair of tractors which had a bamboo structure built on to them, and hanging from that were two men suspended by ropes, floating around like superman. I looked closer and my jaw dropped - they weren't just tied to the rope, but were suspended by fishing hooks that had been inserted into their skin! I'd never seen anything like it, I was amazed.

Hooked (note: look closely only if you dare)

The parade neared the end, and it was time for me to head back, so I headed to the train station. 'The last train was at four, you've missed it' the ticket lady said. I walked the mile or so to catch the bus instead, just getting there in time to catch it, and setting off heading north. About half an hour into the journey I looked ahead, to see that the bus was going to have to partly cut a corner to get past an oncoming bus which wasn't slowing. Suddenly BANG - one of the rear tyres blew out, presumably on a stray rock. Oh joy. Everyone piled off onto the verge, and an irritating young drunk guy started talking to me. Ten minutes later another passing bus stopped and we squeezed on. I then learnt that it wasn't going our way, so a little later we had to change bus at the next town. To add to this, the replacement bus we were awaiting was stuck in traffic - luckily it wasn't cold or wet - problems are only half as bad when the weather's good. After half an hour or so another bus showed up, and at 10pm I was finally back. Exhausted.

Martial arts, disabled beggars, defecating men, hawkers, unwanted photos, a surprise festival, a red banana, a missed train, and a bus breakdown - that's quite a day, even by Indian standards. And what a way to finish, because as far as Indian culture goes, that was it, the end of my trip - with a flight out of the country finally booked and just three days left, it was time to head to the beach.

'One photo please sir?'. OK then!

Street life

Pickled monkey in the Natural
History Museum

As far south as you can get in India 

Fun at the seaside

Parade

Ladies with their gifts

Backwaters

Alleppey, India (map)

In this blog: boating on the beautiful backwaters of Kerala, and a record breaking  bus journey.

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The backwaters

Just behind the coastline of the south westerly state of Kerala, lie a huge network of lakes, rivers and canals, known as the backwaters, much of it formed in the same way as the Netherlands by building dykes and reclaiming the land. It's a really unique and beautiful area to visit, a very different feel to the rest of India and one I enjoyed mostly by floating around on the local ferries.

Formula One

The journey to the backwaters started in Kumily, where I headed west onboard a 'Fast Passenger' bus as they call it. In India this term normally just indicates that it doesn't stop along the way, but in this case the driver took it very literally. The fastest bus journey I've ever been on began. Remember Ernie, the fastest milkman in the west? Well this was Rahul, the fastest driver in the east. 

Straight after leaving the bus station the horn was on non-stop, and 'Rahul' then overtaking cars and motorbikes before even leaving the town centre. We started descending from the hills towards the coast, the bus jerking violently from side to side as he went round the corners right on the limit, everyone being thrown from side to side. It was as-if we were on a private road which everyone else had no right to be on, a private race track. We caught and overtook pretty much every car and lorry in sight, sometimes in pretty dodgy places, and like the other passengers all I could do was hold on tight with both hands to literally stop myself falling out of the seat. No-one else seemed particularly phased by it, having seen it all before no doubt. There was brief respite as we stopped in a town to pick up more passengers, and seven different hawkers barged their way on board, shouting loudly, selling every snack you might need. Though the beautiful scenery had a calming effect, the journey was pretty nerve racking on the whole, and on reflection I really should have got off and waited an hour or two for the next bus - it was that bad. India has the world's most dangerous roads, a fact I write now safely at my last stop in the country, and though this was a bit of an exception I can clearly see why.

Backwaters Begin

Relieved to reach Kottayam safely, I went to the boat jetty only to find building work meant I'd actually have to catch it six miles away. With time a bit tight before the boat was due to depart, I hailed a rickshaw and we went off down all sorts of side streets and country lanes, thankfully at a sensible speed this time, arriving with a few minutes to spare. Another phew.

Local ferry journey on the backwaters

I caught the Kottayam to Alleppey local ferry, a well built but tatty wooden boat with a noisy engine, which putt-putted it's way down the narrow canal, lined both sides by palm trees. We passed fishermen on narrow boats, with long propshaft motors sticking out the back, guys crouched on the bank line fishing with lines tied to bamboo canes, and an empty toddy shop (local alcoholic drink from coconuts). More people boarded and departed at little concrete jetties along the way, at small villages comprising simple little shacks and houses, built on the narrow bank between the canal and the paddy fields behind. I spent some of the journey sat on the entrance step of the boat, one leg hanging out and it all felt very relaxing, quaint, authentic, fun, and free. Well it did until the conductor ushered me back in! After the cooler mountain air of the past few days it was back to being hot and humid, but a breeze constantly passed through and now in the late afternoon, it was an absolutely beautiful journey nonetheless. 

Reaching a much larger canal, perhaps a hundred metres across, we slowed to a stop and the driver killed the engine. All the men on board gathered round the engine - set at the centre of the boat and surrounded by a wooden rail - to see what was happening, whilst the few woman sat disinterested. It turned out there was a leak of some sort, so one of the staff promptly fixed it, sort of, by tying a strip of fabric and a piece of string around a part before we were back on our way again. 

At dusk we arrived in the coastal town of Alleppey, and relived to finally be there, I found a nice guesthouse and headed out for food. I bumped into the Italian girl I'd met a few days before, as well as a nice French couple on holiday and spent a pleasant couple of hours chatting away in the cafe, a nice way to finish the day. 

Backwater Village Life

The following day I headed out on the water again. Rather than go on an organised tourist tour on the backwaters around Alleppey or take one of the popular bamboo covered houseboats, I decided to follow the suggestion of taking local ferry boats to get a more authentic experience of what life was really like in the area. The plan was  simple - to follow a simple route between three villages that I'd read about, changing boats on the way. 

Rice barge - a little
overloaded perhaps?

In reality though, the timetables were quite different and things didn't run anywhere close to plan. I ended up only getting partway to the first village, scratched my head, went cross-country on a bus, waited by a road, took another bus, and walked a couple of miles through the countryside - all directed by a vague map and some help from the locals. I walked to a jetty to catch the next boat, and in the middle of nowhere nearby spotted a tiny cafe behind a small hospital, so stopped for a filling thali (rice and curry buffet lunch) for just 45p. This was definitely not tourist territory, and the three cheery ladies in there were pretty bemused by the presence of a foreigner, laughing between themselves and asking me questions in their basic English. 

Local kids who
showed up on the jetty

I headed on down a dirt track to a tiny jetty beside a paddy field, having been told I need to wait two or three hours for the next boat - easily passed, reading whilst sat in the warm shade of the river bank. I could see rice fields being harvested nearby, done in this case using two modern Claas rice harvesters, running on rubber tracks like an army tank due to the soft ground below. Local kids soon showed up to see what was going on, asking questions before finally getting bored and moving on. Eventually an hour before dark the boat turned up, eventually getting us back to Alleppey way later than planned at about 9pm. 

Wash spot

Considering it didn't go to plan at all, the day turned out to be quite an adventure and great fun regardless, getting to see lots of things on the way that I wouldn't have otherwise. The boat journeys themselves were fascinating, with people constantly getting on and off at the little jetties, and beautiful scenery similar to the day before. We passed loads of tiny inlets, rickety footbridges, and barges overloaded with rice being unloaded onto lorries. For the locals, the canals really are central to their lives, and everywhere you go, there's the strange sight of them using the waters to bathe fully clothed, to wash their dishes, and to wash their clothes - quite often all three at the same time! The water appeared dark green, and though whilst not obviously polluted, I'm sure it wasn't all that great. On the boat itself, I watched with amusement as the captain and throttleman (sat at the back) communicated to each other by ringing a bell a number of times (one ring to go, two to stop etc). It sounded like Sunday morning at a church.

Cruising from Alleppey to Kumily 

Still enjoying the beautiful backwater region, I took another boat fifty odd miles south towards my next destination, this time on the upper desk of a tourist boat. Whilst it wasn't quite as fun as the local ferries the day before, it was more comfortable and every bit as enjoyable. 

Chinese fishing nets

The scenery was similar to the previous days; beautiful with lots to see. I was amused at the sight of a duck tied to the bank by a rope, furiously trying to swim away, a woman washing her goat on the riverbank, and a man fishing using just a line wrapped around his toes. There were churches everywhere (Christianity is popular in Kerala state), small ferry boats being punted across the river full of locals, large modern fishing trawlers. Many young kids waved at the boat - one boy of about twelve even shamelessly managed to wee and wave at the same time! Halfway, the boat passed through a pair of lock gates, which took forever since in the heat of the sun, none of the locals in charge of it could be bothered with cranking the heavy handle to open it, arguing amongst each other for a while. 

The wildlife was excellent - we saw loads of eagles circling around at a couple of points, and I even saw the awesome sight of a a fish eagle diving down suddenly and whipping a fish out of the water. Later, passing an inlet from the sea, someone shouted when they saw a jellyfish in the water below the boat. Before we knew it we were passing thousands of them, all about eight inches in diameter and mostly clear, save the odd bright blue one. 

At dusk we finally reached the town of Kumily - the end to three fantastic days on the very unique and special area of the Kerala backwaters. The boats had been uncomfortable and I'd got completely lost at times, but I'd loved every minute of it - another India highlight.

Luxury tourist houseboats - there's thousands

Locals off fishing

Bamboo Safari

Kumily, India (map)

In this blog: a great bus ride, a bad cycle, and a walk in the park - safari park.

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Fighting monkeys

The answers rang off like an episode of Family Fortunes; with everyone answering with total conviction as if I was asking them the colour of the sky. There was no doubt in their voices, but total disparity between their answers. The question, a simple 'What time is the bus to a Kumily?':

Hotel manager: '2.20pm, but be there at 2'

Shopkeeper nearby: '2.20pm'

Rickshaw driver: '3.00pm'

Man waiting at bus stand: '3.20pm'

Another rickshaw driver: '3.30pm'

The bus driver himself: '3.45pm'

Total confusion as ever but fortunately waiting around for an hour or so wasn't a problem - you can only smile. To be fair, public transport in India generally isn't as bad as it may sound - it runs regularly and often leaves on time, despite the ever varying quality of buses, roads and driving. 

Leaving the tea town of Munnar, I took the local bus on the four hour journey south - the fare as ever, unimaginably cheap at just 87p (87 rupees). I sat next to a guy in his mid-twenties who couldn't speak English, but who upon seeing my camera whipped out his phone and proudly showed me grainy and blurry videos of landscapes that he'd filmed on his tiny phone, bless him. Later after a break a pleasant old guy, also with no English, offered me his seat by the window then some of his peanuts. The driver and conductor were also both very friendly and helpful guys, even saying hello out of the blue the next day when I passed them on the street. There's kindness on every journey in India. But the journey itself; well what can I say, except that it was one of the most beautiful I've ever been on. Winding for an hour or so through tea plantations in the mountains, with rocky summits above, then going along a high ridgeline where you could see over miles of rolling hills and forest, before dropping into valleys, passing through cardamon plantations and small villages. A lovely afternoon, made all the better by the  windowless buses they have in Kerala (except for the windscreen, that would be a bit suicidal). 

We arrived in the dark at Kumily, a small town on the edge of Periyar National Park. The town itself is nothing to write home about - for the most part a typically noisy, dirty and delapated Indian town, but the park itself is one of the biggest parks in the country and professionally run for once. After two other safaris elsewhere in India I thought I'd do the hatrick - following one in a jeep, and one on a bus, this time it was both on foot and floating about on a bamboo raft.

Ride to Nowhere

Kumily was said to be a nice area for a cycle, so the next day naturally I grasped the opportunity and hired a ride for the day, since it was too late to arrange any activities in the park that day. As with most bikes I've hired in India the first one was terrible, so much so that with the forks wobbling violently and brakes barely working, I took it back and got a refund before it killed me, finding something else mildly better nearby. Finding a map was equally difficult - nothing was sold, and the printer in the Internet cafe wasn't working, so I ended up taking a photo of the map on screen using my tablet, before eventually I was on the road.

Logging truck

I set off on an aimless cruise about, first reaching a pair of official looking gates, getting refused entry by the guard as it turned out to be a tribal settlement. I instead went down a dirt track to the side, eventually getting back on another road. The houses nor fences didn't seem the usual style and there were few cars or bikes around. I then had a suspicion I'd inadvertently gone into the settlement, but wasn't sure. I decided to keep going anyway, passing fairly simple concrete houses, fences made from woven branches, and some simple mud huts. After ten minutes or so I started passing people, getting more looks than usual before passing a building which clearly said 'tribal school' outside, confirming my thoughts. The people looked and dressed the same as any typical Indian, so I guess these had been re-homed from the national park voluntarily or otherwise, and adapted to modern life somewhat. I found my way out the other end  without any security dramas and continued on.

Normal when I cycle, an obvious loop presents itself but this time nothing seemed to flow. The turnings I needed to be able to make a loop didn't seem to exist, and after heading downhill a few miles I u-turned back to the start, before going up a steep hill a few miles, again finding no junctions and turning back the same way. The scenery was nice though, passing one spice garden after the next, a tea growing area, and a coffee plantation, before reaching a village in the hills where kids shouted and waved at me, with one group of young boys even trying to block the road to make me stop and talk. Despite being in the hills of the Western Ghat mountains where it's generally cooler, it was still darn hot so drained of energy, frustrated with the single-gear bike, and for once a bit bored, I headed back after a couple of hours and barely fifteen miles, instead going for a little stroll in the woods and reading a book instead. I'm not sure where anyone got the idea Kumily is good for cycling.

Periyar National Park

After a disappointing safari a couple of weeks before, I thought I'd have one last stab at seeing the wildlife of India. I set off on a nice dawn stroll, heading a couple of miles along the road into the national park towards the visitors centre, seeing just a small herd of wild Indian Bison on the way, in some open grassland. At the park centre our group met - an Indian couple, a lawyer from California, and a Korean girl; all nice people. Along with two guides and an armed guard in case of elephant attacks, we headed off into the forest. As dangerous as that sounds, the guard said he'd not had to fired a warning shot once in over ten years! For the first couple of hours the scenery changed immensely, going from evergreen forest, to teak plantation, to denser forest, to open grassland. Visitor numbers are tightly controlled in the park and in fact we were one of just a couple of groups that day, making it feel very natural. 

Malabar squirrel

The sound of crickets permeated the air throughout the day, but in one section they were overwhelmingly loud, to the point they almost hurt your ears; a football stadium of insects upset that we'd strayed onto their turf. The guides stopped and picked out various things along the way - termites decimating a branch, ants scrambling up a tree en-masse, a wild chicken rummaging in the undergrowth (they can fly properly you know), and niligiri langurs (monkeys) lazing in the trees. The guide held out his hand to us, indicating to stop, pointing high up in the trees to a Malabar squirrel - indigenous to the region and one of the worlds biggest, with a large bushy tail and a multi-coloured quilt of a coat. Quite a sight.

Rafting time

We stopped for the packed breakfast they'd issued (bread, bread, bread), before reaching the lake and starting the main part of the trip - bamboo rafting. The raft was fantastic - a home made beast made from huge pieces of bamboo tied together, with seats fashioned from smaller sections. The guides sat at the back doing most of the paddling, though we were handed a hand carved paddle each and encouraged to do our bit. The lake itself was built by the British in 1895 to supply water to towns in the neighbouring state of Tamil Nadu, and at this time of year the water level is pretty low, meaning you should easily be able to spot wild animals coming out of the forest to drink. Unfortunately we didn't. Despite being able to see miles of shoreline, all we managed to see was a couple of wildboar grazing. Oh well, nothing is guaranteed on a safari and that's half the excitement. All very relaxing though, slowly floating around in the sun.

We stopped for another hike in the forest. The guides pointed out a few trees, including the banyan - a parasite that climbs other trees, kills them and becomes the main tree itself. We saw huge climbers, the sort that Tarzan would swing on, some 8" or so in diameter, a curryleaf bush - a key part of Indian cooking, and a wild chilli bush - even spicier than the domestic chilli, as I found out after eating one. Tingly tongue would be an understatement. The guide scraped off some tree bark and held it to our noses - cinnamon it turned out, and picked a fruit from a bush which we tried - guava fruit. A little further on, excitingly a mongoose ran into site for a few seconds, but disappeared before we could really get a good glimpse. We returned to the shore where we left the boat, and the guys unfolded a big tarpaulin for us to lunch on. A snake wriggled it's way out, and headed towards the lake! It was only a small one, maybe an inch in diameter and a metre long, and was apparently a water snake, which would have climbed on board as we rafted. Reassuring! 

Indian elephant,and
sambar deer

Disappointingly we rafted back exactly the same way as before, but did manage to spot a white necked stork, egrets, some little cormorants, and a fish eagle - I write these names in ignorance, just reciting the guides' expert knowledge. Beautiful birds though. After another walk for an hour or so, we were back at the visitors centre. Despite being packed with noisy tourists, ironically we saw the most wildlife of all (secretly fed by staff for the benefit of tourists I wondered) - a pack of sambar deer, and a mother and baby wild elephant, grazing on the other side of the river - finally! Our group dispersed, and I started wandering back to the village, spotting some monkeys hanging out on a building site. I sat down and watched them for twenty minutes or so - lazing, fighting, hanging from trees, stealing crisps from passing children. Prime time entertainment. 

On the way back an Indian woman in her mid-twenties, walking along with her children, started talking to me. She was very friendly and chatty, and her husband and friends soon joined them - a group of sixteen of them on holiday together, having taken a thirty-eight hour train journey to get there! I got invited to have a tea with them, before finding the cafe was closed and saying goodbye. My point here is that it was the first time in over four months an Indian woman had initiated a proper conversation with me, after talking to hundreds of Indian men. It always appears to me to be be shyness, a lack of confidence, or domination by husbands. Or maybe I should start washing my clothes more often.

Niligiri langur (monkey)

Empty 'shells' of dead crickets

Raaaaaa! Bison skull

Our snake friend

Egrits and cormorants

South Indian 'thali' lunch - 45p for all this!